Monthly Archives: June 2015

Fighting the Double-Edged Sword

Reading for Fourth Sunday after Pentecost: 1 Samuel 17:1-58

Peace be with you!

People outside the disabled world have two general views of people who live with disabilities: 1) they possibly cannot live a perceived “normal life,” and 2) they are so inspiring (but thank God I’m not them!). People with disabilities fight this double-edged sword daily.

In the David and Goliath story, the teenage David fights two similar perceptions. In this instance, David’s disability is his age and not his not yet mature adult body (1 Samuel 17:15, 33). Saul saw David as a young boy who had little experience outside of tending his father’s sheep.

The first view creates the notion anyone who has disability is lacking the ability to live a perceived normal life. Saul and the other soldiers felt that David should not be allowed to be on the battlefield, even to check on his three brothers for his father, because of his inexperience and age (1 Samuel 17:33). Like David, people believe I am not strong enough to be independent; they assume this because I use an electric wheelchair to get around and have a speech impairment. They feel I should not be able to own and live in my house alone, be alone under any circumstance—let alone travel with a personal caregiver (gasp). They doubt my ability to have and care for my three dogs, manage an aging parent’s personal affairs, and anything else the average adult tends to and enjoys doing daily.

The second view creates the notion people with disabilities are so incredibly noble for attempting to live a perceived normal life, despite their limitations. If living and the basic needs of shelter, food and water, and companionship were a mere choice, then yes, people with disabilities would be inspirations. But living is a requirement to exist in the world, and if you are able and willing, then managing your needs is just a fact of life. For example, many people upon meeting me (especially at the gym) call me an inspiration. The fact of the matter is I am compulsive about working out, because I need to keep up my strength in order to transfer independently. When I skip my workouts, I fall more while going to the bathroom or taking a shower. Plus, working out helps my self-esteem. For me, working out is a basic need—physically and psychosocially. Anyone has the choice to live their life to the fullest—why cannot people with disabilities make that decision for themselves?

Just as I do not have a choice to live and tend to my needs, David saw no choice but to fight against Goliath, even without armor. David rebukes Saul’s claims of him being just a boy by stating he has fought off lions and bears when they would take a lamb, even if it meant killing the lion or bear (1 Samuel 17:33-36a). When Saul saw David had made up his mind, he dressed him in his armor (1 Samuel 17:38-39a). However, David could not move in the armor, so he took it off and took his staff and five stones with his slingshot (1 Samuel 17:39b-40). Goliath mocked David being small and having no armor, except for the five stones and slingshot, and said he would feed him to the bird and wild animals (1 Samuel 17:41-44).

But David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with sword and spear and javelin; but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This very day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head; and I will give the dead bodies of the Philistine army this very day to the birds of the air and to the wild animals of the earth, so that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the LORD does not save by sword and spear; for the battle is the LORD’s and he will give you into our hand” (1 Samuel 17:45-47 NRSV).

Despite being smaller and inexperienced, David found strength in the LORD who he believed would help him kill Goliath. So when Goliath came closer, David took a stone, slung it, and flung it into his forehead knocking him down and allowing David to kill him (1 Samuel 17:48-50). David prevailed over Goliath making him a hero to the Israelites; his people would not become captives to the Philistines because of his bravery.

However, King Saul and the Israelites missed the true reason why he prevailed over Goliath: David prayed to the LORD and did what he commanded. David fought the Philistine for the LORD and the Israelites, his people. He did it to keep his people safe.

In the same way, people who have disabilities strive to be a productive members of society. People with disabilities may do things differently or need more time and space. This does not make them inspirational or deprive of the ability to have their own lives; it just means they are willing to go against the grains and listen to their own hearts. God calls people with disabilities to his work in the world just like anyone else.

Thanks be to God!

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for sending David to fight against Goliath. Help us to be brave like David and lead us to fight your battles in the world. Raise us up when we fall and give us new life. Thank you for calling us to be your people. Amen.

 


© 2014 Picture taken by Joy McManaman

Fitting in when you have a Disability

Reading for Second Sunday after Pentecost: Genesis 3:8-15 and Psalm 130

Peace be with you!

Teenagers have a difficult time figuring out their feelings, identity, and place in the world. They face issues of sexuality, drugs and drinking, peer pressure, fitting in, and physical changes to their bodies. Teenage years symbolize the transition between childhood and adulthood, the time when an individual gains more independence and depends less on his parents. Boys experience a change in their voice, more facial hair, and growth spurts, while girls experience changes to the shape of their bodies and the beginning of menstruation. Teenagers also enjoy several milestones: getting their driver’s license, becoming a legal adult, being able to serve their country in the armed forces or on a jury, and being able to vote. Teenagers experience a wide set of physical and psychosocial changes to their bodies and their world.

Compound the rapid changes of the teenage years with having a disability and the individual will struggle even more with fitting in and finding their identity. Even before her teenage years, a child with a disability struggles with fitting in, because she is physically or cognitively different from their peers—whether she needs a power wheelchair to get around or whether she cannot control her outbursts.

The serpent tricked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge (Genesis 3:1-7). By eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened and they gained knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3:5b, 7). They also learned they were naked and hid from the Lord (Genesis 3:10). Similarly, teenagers with disabilities feel a need to hide from their peers, because no matter how hard they try they cannot keep up physically or psychosocially.[i]

In his memoir, Off Balanced, Zachary Fenell (who has mild cerebral palsy and walks with a limp) describes his high school years. Fenell recalls being shy around his classmates and spending most weekends alone in his bedroom. As a junior and senior, Fenell was intentional about talking to the few guys in his homeroom, though he was still isolated outside of school. Fenell recalls going to an auto show with two friends in high school. Although he refused to tell his friends, Fenell struggled to keep up and grew tired more quickly than they did. Looking back as an adult, Fenell acknowledges he could have asked his friends to sit down throughout the day. Instead of enjoying the auto show, Fenell found it to be an endurance test.[ii]

Teenagers with disabilities have to make choices as to when and how to disclose their limitations to their peers. Teenagers fear appearing different, and having a disability intensifies this fear. Fenell did not want to appear weak to his two friends, but he also found that not telling them of his limitations came at a price—not enjoying the auto show as he could have.

Just as the serpent tempted Eve with the forbidden fruit, he temps individuals to blame God for their disabilities. The temptation is accompanied by fear and apprehension of not being good enough. It is easy for individuals to blame God for their disability, because he created them in his image. Yet the devil is the one who brought pain and suffering in the world by tempting Eve with the forbidden fruit. It was the serpent’s actions that got Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Without the serpent’s manipulation and promotion of evil, Adam and Eve would never understand the pain and suffering of hard work or childbirth and no one would be disabled. The serpent introduced pain and suffering into the world.

However, God uses pain and suffering against the devil by using it to bring God glory. When the disciples ask Jesus who sinned—a man born blind or his parents—he replies, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him” (John 9:2-3 NRSV). In Cerebral Palsy is a Blessing, I explained how cerebral palsy is a pawn between God and the devil and how I view it as a blessing. It has given me the ability to give God glory through my work.

Even though God kicks Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, he never abandons them. God stays with Adam and Eve their whole lives and is with them through every tribulation. In Psalm 130, the psalmist writes how the Lord redeems us from this sinful, broken world with his power and love. The Lord redeems us from our physical and cognitive limitations and raises us to new life. Although we may feel isolated, God is always with us.

Thanks be to God!

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for being with us as we try to find your calling for us in this world. Help us to feel your presence in the darkness where we experience pain. Lead us through the trials and tribulations of this world. Redeem us from our shortcomings and raise us to new life through Jesus Christ. Amen.

[i] Note: I believe that having a disability is not the result of sin—past, present, or future, unless your actions, such as drunk drinking, causes your disability, though God may use your disability to get you back on the right path. Disabilities exist, because Satan introduced sin, pain, and brokenness into the world. Satan tries to use disabilities to tempt us to hate God for making us disabled when in fact it is his fault, not God’s fault. The parallel between teenagers who have disabilities and Adam and Eve breaks down here, because God punishes Adam and Eve for their sin—eating the forbidden fruit.

[ii] Zachary Fenall, Off Balanced (2011), Kindle edition, ch. 5, “An Emergency.”